I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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