:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
