her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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