Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sobbing to NWA