um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.