guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
