I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?