it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
