Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
