This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
