This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
