She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My life is pants optional.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
