Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
