I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
