good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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