how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
