Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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