Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
