her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
try to milk me bitch
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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