So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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