I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
