I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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