Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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