I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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