The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
