No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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