This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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