Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
