He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
