just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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