it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
