Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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