So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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