oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
