k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
