So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize