Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
