After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
