shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
