No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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