He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
