Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
