I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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