butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
