in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize