so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
