I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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