drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
