I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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