I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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