Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
