We need to rekindle our bromance
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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