dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
