they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
