So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Drunk is not a location!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
