why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize