So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
