someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just google imaged poop.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize