so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
