I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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