I can tuck mytits in my pants
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
