i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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