If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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