i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize