She just used a chaser for red wine.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
