good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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