i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Everclear isn't food dammit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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