Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
