i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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